Bad Day
by liamarehorselover
Summary: "Alex usually did so well, got up and got on with his life, but sometimes, every two or three months, he'd just get like this for a  day or two. Things would come back to haunt him."  PTSD!Alex.  Wolf takes care of him. AU. Standard disclaimer applies.
1. Chapter 1

Alex was having a bad day.

Wolf knew that as soon as the kid wasn't awake and making breakfast at seven thirty. Still, he gave him a good ten minutes before he went and knocked on the open door before making his way inside. That was when he knew.

It was the way the kid was lying, hunched shoulders, tangled blankets, slow deliberate breaths. He was hurting. Wolf could tell. He sat down on the edge of the bed, put a hand on Alex's shoulder, asked, "Cub?"  
>Alex rolled over to look at Wold. His eyes were heavy and shadowed, his face tight with pain. That and the hitch in his breathing meant he'd had a bad night.<p>

"Hey. How you feel?"  
>Alex shook his head, and Wolf said, "Okay. I'll take care of it kiddo. Is it your chest?"<br>A nod and another wheezy breath. The kid's lungs had never been as good once he'd been shot. Wolf sighed and went into the bathroom, opened up the medicine cabinet. Alex had a whole pharmacy worth of drugs. Painkillers for his chest and his knee, sleeping pills, something for the panic attacks. Vitamins, supplements, antibiotics, antipyretics. Everything he needed to coax his stuttering body into functioning.

Wolf got the painkillers and everything else Alex needed to take, as well as snagging the heating pad from under the counter. He hesitated, then grabbed his inhaler from the counter. He came back to the room and helped Alex sit, then slipped the pad under his back and flicked it on. For whatever reason it calmed Alex down, helped him ground himself. He held the kid's water while he took all his pills, then told him, "You take it easy a little while. I'm going to make you something to eat."  
>He got a slow, unfocused sort of nod. The kid was feeling spacy today. Normally he was sharp as a tack, but when he was like this he just seemed to drift, as if all those bad memories blocked something. Not how intelligent Alex was, that wasn't likely to change, but more how able he was to communicate with him.<p>

He made oatmeal, the kind Alex liked, with the dinosaurs in it, and sat by the kid's bed as he ate it. Alex didn't need the company, but he liked it, and when Alex was like this Wolf tended to be a little indulgent.

The therapist had actually suggested that Wolf make Alex go to school like this, to help him face the trauma.  
>But when Wolf looked at the kid he never could. Alex usually did so well, got up and got on with his life, but sometimes, every two or three months, he'd just get like this for a day or two. Things would come back to haunt him, and Wolf never had the heart to just chuck him out into the world like this, not when he obviously needed to be kept safe.<p>

After the oatmeal was done he got a wan smile and a "Thank you." as Cub slid back down under the covers and lay still, seeming to relax. Wolf got the dishes and went out to the kitchen, then sighed and grabbed the phone. He waited until it rang through, "Snake, man? Can you come by? It's cub. Yeah." 

Snake sat in Wolf's kitchen, drinking his coffee. He looked around the space, seeing the marks of Alex's existence in Wolf's life. There was the rugbby schedule on the fridge, four wins and two losses, the magnetized white board on the fridge with reminders written on it for Alex in Wolf's precise handwriting. The kid forgot things lately. The doctor said that it was the Post Traumatic Stress, Wolf just wrote things on the whiteboard. It wasn't like him to waste time dissecting things that were easily corrected. The third time Alex had gotten spacy on him he'd just bought that and began writing anything he needed on it. There was a hook for his keys and a list for the groceries, and Cub seemed to do fine.

This week it was "Physics test on Thursday." "Doctor's Appointment. 3:30." "Practice." "Take your vitamins"

There was a science test on the table, he looked at it. Alex had scored moderately well, and Wolf was going through the ones he'd gotten wrong with him.

All in all it seemed very domestic. He looked up when Wolf came out of the bedroom, nodded at him, "How is he doing then?"

Wolf shrugged, "He's sleeping again. Got him to eat."  
>"Good. You want me to take a look at him?"<p>

Wolf nodded, "If you don't mind. He's seeing the doctor Thursday, but I need to know..."

"All right." 

When Snake emerged ten minutes later he shook his head, "He's sleeping still. Didn't wake up when I looked him over. Let him rest."  
>"Yeah?"<br>"Yeah. Best thing for him now is rest. He'll snap out of it, always does."  
>"The therapist says I'm coddling him."<br>"Of course you are." Wolf looked vaguely offended and Snake sighed, "You ask me, that boy could use some coddling. Hasn't had much of it, I don't think. Just keep doing what you are, Wolf. You're the best thing for him." 

Wolf went back into Alex's room carefully. He sat down in the chair by the bed and looked around.

There was the bed, of course, a dresser and a desk. A bookshelf with a TV on top. There was a DVD player and a game system. A bunch of games. Call of duty, which Alex loved and Wolf thought was so unrealistic that it wouldn't really set anything off. Other things too. Soccer, racing. One of those Tetris games. A bunch of movies, most of them action. Casino Royale. Defiance. Fight Club. Sherlock Holmes. Kung Fu Panda. Tons of others. Wolf had bought them for him, his uncle had been rather strict, and Jack rather absent. He'd watched most of them with Alex, hadn't believed how happy that had made the kid. Had been almost angry how two hours of his time could make the kid so bloody happy.

Other things were strewn on the dresser. The nice watch the unit had got him for Christmas. Some horrible cologne he almost never wore. Leather jacket slung over the doorknob, tennis shoes almost in the hall. Wolf nagged him about that, but he really didn't mind. Alex had begun to truly inhabit the place, six months after moving in with him. There was a calender on the wall, one of those pastoral scene ones. A couple of posters. The Chelsea flag on the wall above the bed, the string of lights along the wall. Alex hated the dark but didn't want a nightlight, this had let him keep his dignity and get some sleep. The lights were the novelty kind, little taxicabs and phone booths. It made the kid happy, who was he to complain?

Alex stirred a little, and Wolf told him, "I'm right here, cub. Try and sleep some more." He flicked the heating pad on for him again, and Alex relaxed, grasping for his hand a little, automatically. He let the kid have it.

It was a pretty good day – for a bad one.


	2. Chapter 2

She called once a week.

Wolf didn't tell Cub that. He didn't think he needed to know. Lately he'd gotten Cub on a more or less even keel, and that keel did not involve mentioning MI6, his uncle, or Jack Starbright.

She called during the morning, after he'd gotten Cub off to school. Alex would eat his breakfast, telling him that he had practice today, or that he was getting help in maths from his teacher, or just that he was going out for pizza with Tom. It made Wolf feel good that Cub was beginning to venture out into society again, even if it was just pizza and rugby. He'd had some mates from the team around a few times, had wheedled Wolf into going to the Chelsea game, and all that had made Wolf smile, had taken some of the worry away from him.

But he didn't tell her that. Didn't think it was any of her business.

She hadn't been there when Cub had woken up in the hospital after Africa. She hadn't been there every night for a month when Alex screamed and shook like a leaf, unable to get out of his own nightmares. She hadn't been there when finally, finally he'd gotten Alex to come out of his shell, to tell him what he wanted for dinner, when he wasn't feeling well.

She hadn't been there when he'd gotten Alex to believe that he wasn't going to leave him, that nothing was going to make him leave him.

She hadn't been there when the boy had finally broken down and cried for the last two years, for his childhood. Wolf had been the one who'd gotten the boy calm again, who'd helped him wash his face, who'd stroked his hair until he'd fallen asleep. She hadn't been there.

So when she called this morning he answered with his customary, "This is James."  
>"Hi James, it's Jack." He knew who it was, she always called at the same time. She called him James, something for which he was very grateful.<br>Only Cub and the lads got to call him Wolf.

"Hello Jack. How are you?" He endeavored to be civil. Cub would want it.

She told him, "Fine. You?"  
>"Fine." There was an awkward sort of silence, until she brought up her main reason for calling, "How is he?"<p>

Wolf debated how much to tell her. "Fine. He's doing well in school."  
>"How about the nightmares?"<br>"They're fine." It seemed such a personal thing to talk to her about, especially since the last few have been about her, about someone hurting her. Some dictator or other, he'd been unable to get anything out of Cub's frantic babbling. In the end he'd had to wait it out, Cub in his arms, a firm hand on both his wrists to keep him from thrashing anymore.

"That's good. That' s good. Well let him know I called."  
>"Yep." He never let Cub know she called. He didn't figure that she deserved the time of day from him since she'd left him with the government. She definitely didn't deserve the thought and concern that Cub would undoubtedly spare her if he was told.<p>

She asked, sounding more uncertain, "They've been leaving him alone."  
>"Haven't had a word from them in months." That wasn't entirely true, his trust fund was updated regularly, but Wolf edited that information out. He must have been feeling a little cruel, because he told her, "They don't have much use for him anymore."<br>Because they didn't.

That had been six hours ago. Now he looked up at the clock as Cub came home from school, right on time. He hollered "Bedroom" when Cub dumped his pack on the floor, smiled a little at the huff he got.

When Cub came into the kitchen it was with a smile, and as he began hunting through the refrigerator for something to eat, he began to chatter aimlessly about his day, what he'd learned, what his sciences teacher had said. Tom had done something funny, Wolf gathered, and gotten himself in trouble. Not Alex, although he'd probably played some part in it. Tom was rather protective about Cub now, he never let him take the rap for anything. Wolf appreciated that.

"Wolf?"

"Hmm Cub?"  
>"Can Tom come over tonight? And stay? We wanted to see Chelsea."<br>"Is your homework done?"  
>"No, but there's no school Monday, I'll do it all then."<p>

Wolf nodded, "All right then." He should tell Cub no, that school is important, but he loved Chelsea, and besides, it wouldn't hurt him to have a little fun.

"Wolf?"

"Yeah?"  
>"I tried to call you this morning but the phone was busy. Were you talking to someone?"<br>"Oh, yeah. Just the cable company Cub. It was a little fritzy."  
>"Oh. All right. I'm going to get some groceries then. We're down to the jam now."<br>"Do you want me to come?"  
>"I'm fine Wolf." He got a smile, they were so rare nowadays that he'd begun to count them, that was ten this week, as Cub took the list from the fridge and the grocery money from the jar. "I'll be back soon."<br>"All right Cub. Be safe."  
>Another little huff. Wolf hadn't realized how much they meant to him.<p>

A/N – Opinions? Questions? Comments? Requests? Might not take everything, but ideas are always welcome. Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex Rider liked walking thorugh London.

It was fun, mixing with all the people, buying fish and chips from the corner stands, wandering in and out of shops. Wolf was all right as long as Alex was armed, which was why Alex carried a knife and a gun. Alex didn't like it, but Wolf didn't care. He said it was gun or no alone time.

So Alex had a gun, and a permit. MI6 was good for something, it seemed.  
>He walked into McMillians and started loading up his basket. Bread and bagels, cream cheese. Waffles and microwave bacon for breakfast. Fixings for sandwichs for lunch. Pasta and sauce, lamb, salad mixings. They ate out most nights, but he liked keeping the fridge stocked, and Wolf had told him that he should buy whatever it was he wanted.<p>

Oatmeal. Microwave pizza. Potato crisps for tonight. On a whim he bought some pancake mix too. He just might try making some.  
>He walked up to the front of the store, wondering at how much he'd changed since he'd come to live with Wolf. When he'd first left St. Dominic's, he'd been unable to deal with people at all, always looking for another threat.<p>

He remembered the first few times Wolf had taken him out grocery shopping, telling him that he had to face the world someday. The first time he hadn't even made it out of the flat. It had taken three tries before he could get down off the curb, and another five before he made it to the store. After that Wolf had had to deal with a terrified boy who wouldn't let go of his shirt to save his life.

Looking back now, Alex could see how frustrating that must have been, but Wolf had never said a word that wasn't encouraging. All of K – Unit had been like that.

Snake had walked him to and from school, sitting in the hallway outside his classes. The big man had made him feel safe and protected. He still did as he walked with him every day, although now he was all right to sit in the teacher's lounge and visit.

Fox and Eagle had taken him to the cinema every week, sometimes seeing the same movie twice if nothing else was showing. They'd boughten him the extra large popcorn, telling him that he needed to get more weight on, as well as whatever candy he'd wanted. Alex hadn't said so at the time, but he'd enjoyed the time, still did, although the cinema was monthly now. K-Unit, even Wolf treated him like a child. Their child.

He'd never had that before.

Sure his uncle had raised him, but the man had been more of a placeholder than anything else, a sort of stand in until he was old enough to take care of himself.

And Jack, well Jack was more like a friend. Not a very good one, it turned out, but a friend nonetheless.

Alex sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. He didn't feel up to hauling all those groceries back to the house, so he stuck his arm up.

The cabbie matched his license picture, so Alex felt all right getting in. He gave the street address, but not the building number, just like Wolf had taught him.

He passed the car ride looking around and checking his messages. One from Tom about tonight, he smiled and texted, _Yes, Come on over._ He'd have to thank Wolf for that later. He and Tom got on well enough, but even so, an entire weekend was a bit much for anyone as private as Wolf. One from Sabina, some portion of the completely random and extremely lengthy conversation they were having.

There was a voicemail. He frowned when he saw the number, then put his phone back in his pocket. He didn't want to deal with that now.

Wolf was watching TV when he got in, the man wordlessly took half of the groceries and helped him put them away, then asked, "You all right, Cub?"

He had two options. He could tell Wolf that he was fine and wake up screaming tonight, with Tom for an audience. Or he could tell Wolf now and save himself the trouble.

Three months ago he would have risked it, but he liked Wolf now, and he wanted Wolf to like him too.

So he pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit the play button.

_Alex it's Mrs. Jones from MI6. If you could call back that would be wonderful. We want to discuss something with you, that we think you'll be interested in. The number, in case you've lost it is …_

He hadn't realized he was shaking until Wolf put a hand on his shoulder and led him into the living room, sitting him down and telling him, "Head between your knees now, Cub."  
>He obeyed, felt Wolf's palm stroking up and down his spine, soothingly, like he did every time Alex was like this. It was habit, routine. He felt the waves of panic coming over him, struggled to breathe, heard Wolf talking to him soothingly. It didn't have anything to do with MI6 or missions or anything important. It was just words. Quietly spoken. Soft questions, waiting for him to respond to them, "Whose Chelsea playing tomorrow, Cub?"<br>"M-manchester."  
>"Mm. You think they'll win?"<br>"I d-don't know. Forwards hurt."  
>"Oh. Let's hope they do, huh? Fox wants to go with you, that all right?"<br>"B-better than Snake. He hates crowds."  
>"Yeah, he does, doesn't he? Kind of like you there."<br>"Y-yeah."  
>"You want to order something for dinner?"<br>"N-not hungry." He never was, after an attack. Tom would want something though. "P-pizza in the fridge."  
>"All right. I'll put it in the oven, huh?"<br>He sat up slowly, his head spinning as it always did. Wolf eased him back, and told him, "Easy. You take it easy a minute, then we'll talk, all right?"  
>He nodded slowly. He was tired now. Drained. But nearly as much as a nightmare would have drained him. Wolf went into the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with a glass of juice and two aspirins. Alex took them both and sipped the juice, then leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes. Wolf surveyed him closing, "You're exhausted."<br>"Yeah. Didn't sleep last night."  
>"All right. I want you to take a pill tonight, all right?"<p>

"'Kay. W-what about Mrs. Jones."  
>"Cub. You're safe here. They can't touch you. SAS looked after you. Took care of it. You know that."<br>"Y-yeah."  
>"All right then. Don't call her back. She bothers you again, I'll take care of it."<br>_I'll take care of it._ No one had ever said that to him before. He wasn't quite sure how to respond. He settled for "Thank you."  
>"Thank you."<br>"What for?"  
>"For telling me and not making me drag it out of you at three in the morning." Wolf smiled and said, "Drink your juice."<br>For once in his life, Alex was happy enough just to obey.

AN – Okay, so there's sort of a plot now. Not sure what I'm doing though. Someone wanted a panic attack, so there's that. I'm not sure what I should do about Jack, any ideas? The next chapter will probably be in Tom's perspective, but we'll have to see. Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading. :)


	4. Chapter 4

The scream jolted him from solid sleep, panicking, thrashing, wondering what could be going on, until he realized who was screaming.

_God, Alex._ He wanted to comfort his friend, but wasn't that stupid. He'd tried the first time Alex had had a nightmare around him and almost lost a few teeth for his trouble. Instead he waited for the inevitable and Wolf staggered out, making it halfway to the bedroom before he realized that they were camped in the front room and abruptly changed course.

Tom watched as he Wolf sat down on the couch, grabbed Alex's arms at both wrists, and pulled him up, all without waking fully as he began speaking to him slowly, the words rote and soothing, almost like he was reciting a school piece off.

"It's all right now, Cub. I'm here. You're safe now. Not in Africa, not in Italy. Everything's all right now. No one can touch you anymore…"

And on, and on, until Wolf got what he was looking for and Alex calmed, his head lolling against Wolf's chest, falling deeper and deeper asleep. Wolf sighed, then told him, "That's it Cub, you go back to sleep."  
>Once he had Alex settled he looked at Tom, then the clock, and sighed, "Coffee?"<br>Tom nodded and followed the SAS man into the kitchen, where he turned the light in the hall on, after checking to make sure Alex was still asleep. "Scares you doesn't it?"  
>He laughed a little as Tom nodded, "Just about killed me the first time too."<br>"Is it always that bad?"  
>Wolf shook his head, "That was relatively tame. When he screams enough to be hoarse the next day, that's when it's bad."<br>Tom swore nad Wolf looked surprised, "Where in hell did you learn that."  
>He had to shrug as he admitted, "Alex."<br>Wolf laughed at that a long minute before bringing both mugs over to the table, as well as the sugar and the cream. Tom was liberal with both, and he thanked Wolf, who waved him off, just saying, "You're good to him." It was a short message, but Tom read the subtext, _So many people aren't._

"You're good to him too. Good for him. I never liked Jack, but that's well, I don't tell him that."  
>"No. Don't. Don't bring her up if you can help it. I wanted to ask you – "<br>He waited for the man to finish patiently, knowing that an SAS man was not one whom you wanted to rush, "Yes?"  
>"How does he do, in school? He's well enough here, but …"<br>Tom shrugged, "He's all right. Quiet. Pays good attention. He – he fights sometimes."  
>"I know that. He comes home with the bruises. Same few boys, I'm guessing."<br>Tom nodded, didn't mention that the last couple of fights had been about him, that Alex had shut some people down with a cold efficiency that had scared him. It had scared the boys too.

"He's all right, though, I think. Better than he was." Tom took another sip of his coffee, then asked, "The other men who come round? The one who walks him to school? They're good for him too. He likes them."  
>"Good. That's good."<br>They sat in silence for a long time, and talked about other things. Wolf told him some stories about his unit, they made him laugh, and he saw less of the grim soldier he'd been shown and more of the man that Alex trusted absolutely. This Wolf was funny and thoughtful and surprisingly gentle as he straightened Alex's blankets and tells him, "It's all right. Back to sleep."

Alex doesn't even question him and Tom wonders about that, wonders about trusting someone so completely, so absolutely that nothing could make you doubt them.

He wishes he had that with his own father.

Wolf takes his coffee cup and looks at his face and sighs, tells him, "It'll mend with time lad. Most things do."  
>"And the ones that don't?"<br>Wolf gestured to Alex, asleep in the other room, "You learn to live with them. Do it half as well as he does and you'll be just fine."  
>Tom nodded and made to stand up, but was stopped by Wolf asking him, "By the way, tomorrow morning- he might not remember. So don't mention it. He hates having them, and I figure what he doesn't know – "<br>"- can't hurt him."  
>"Right." The SAS man smiled and Tom smiled back before going back into the front room and lying down. He reflected, as he closed his eyes, that it felt rather good to have friends in high places.<p>

The next morning, Cub asked Wolf, "What happened last night?" and Wolf paused in making breakfast to wrap one arm around the boy loosely, to draw him in a moment, since a still half asleep coming from a nightmare Cub tended to be a little clingy, and tell him, "Nothing you need to be worried about."

AN – All right, I know that was … random, but I wanted to torture Alex a little. Reveiws? Requests? Thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

AN – Set before Bad Day, when Alex has just come to live with Wolf.

The first month he'd lived with Wolf had been the hardest. He'd still been recovering from everything, from the last two years, and he couldn't seem to summon up the energy to do anything.

But he had to go to school. If he missed anymore days he'd be binned, and he didn't think he could stand that. Wolf told him that he should just try again next term, but he'd dug his heels in, and the man had been surprisingly understanding. Some days were better, and some days...

Some days everything hurt, he could barely open his eyes, and he felt only a few inches away from dissolving into tears as he had every day since Jack had left.

Today was one of those days. As soon as the alarm clock went off he slammed his hand down on it, then sat himself up slowly, counted to ten, waiting until the dizziness subsided before he stood and repeated the routine. Ten steps into the bathroom, another two to the shower. Water cranked hot and then a step under. Stand there ten minutes, until Wolf comes and bangs on the door, "Coming."  
>Struggle into clothes, skin still damp. He wanted to go back to bed so badly, but he couldn't afford it. A long minute staring into the mirror. Trying to pull himself together enough to get through today. <em>Just seven hours. <em>Seven hours and he can go home, lay down on the couch, watch trash telly. Wolf'll let him eat dinner on the couch too.  
>He just has to get through this.<p>

Snake is quieter than usual as he walks him to school. He gives him the space he wants desperately, but insists on carrying his bag for him when he sees him rubbing his shoulder. Alex doesn't protest, just tugs his jacket tighter around himself. He wants this to be over.

Tom sits next to him in class, lets him copy off his work. He knows it's wrong but can't bring himself to care at this point. He's just barely holding on. _Six more hours._

At lunch he can't bring himself to eat anything, just swallows his pills and stares at the table while they kick in. Someone makes a comment about getting school vaccinations, and he goes to the loo and throws up everything he's had today, as well as his pills. He'll hurt the rest of the day now. He curls his knees to his chest and sits down and cries. _Four more hours._

He skips Latin, stays curled up on the floor, and doesn't have to do Sports, so it's 2 by the time he stands up. Only science class left.

Tom looks up when he sees him and offers him a sad sort of smile. No doubt he'd given a good excuse.

Rencen sees him come in and says, "Rider. You're late."  
>"Yes sir. Sorry sir."<br>He makes it halfway through the class when the shakes start up again. Tom gets him into the hall and Snake doesn't quibble, just picks him up. He hates having to be carried, but he can't walk, not when it gets like this. The pain is bad again, and so is the panic, making him quiver in the large man's arms. Snake asks Tom to get his things and Tom obliges, Snake talks to him, telling him, "We're going to get you home, Cub. I called for a cab."  
>Snake helps him put his coat on and picks him back up, bundling him into the cab and getting him settled for the ride home.<p>

Snake sighed as he looked at the boy asleep against him. The worst of the panic seemed to be gone, but the pain was still there, he could see it in the tightness in the boy's face. Tom had said that he'd thrown up his pills, and that itself was the problem. He was on strict doses for now, to keep him comfortable. Wolf didn't like doping him up, but he was too damaged right now, to do without it. When he had to cope on his own, he couldn't seem to do it.

It made Snake angry to see the shell of the boy he'd known at Brecon Beacons. This Cub was very, very different.

He jumped at noises and shied at shadows, and none of them could blame him for it. Wolf was run to the bone, trying to look after him, and only very recently had Eagle moved in with him, so that they could split the work between them.

As docile as Cub was, he required a lot of work. He had to be watched, kept calm and quiet, given his medication at the proper times. His wounds had to be dressed, and he had to be encouraged, if not outright forced to eat. Wolf was the only one he would listen to, the only one he would even respond to some days. Slowly the other men were beginning to breach those defenses, but it was steady work, not done in a few weeks.

Cub stirred against him and he said, "We're home now Cub."

Alex opened his eyes, blearily, when Snake said that, but didn't protest when the man lifted him up and cccarried him into Wolf's flat. He heard Wolf's voice, deep and gruff, and tried to raise his head. Wolf said, "Here, put him on the couch."

Snake obeyed and within a few minutes he found himself being helped out of his school clothes and into his pajamas. He really only needed help with his shirt buttons, he couldn't ever seem to work them when he was this bad. Wolf helped him pull his shirt on after he checked his wounds, then handed him a glass of juice and his painkillers. He swallowed obediently, then lay down and waited for the agony blooming in his chest to stop.

He woke later, two or three hours, hearing the sounds of dinner being prepared from his nest on the couch. Snake was asking, "You hear from Jones."  
>"Yeah. She told me that he'd be well taken care of. And that she'd get him an actual bank account."<br>Alex smiled a little at that, but a very little. HE heard Wolf come into the room, lay a hand on his forehead to check for fever. "That's better, then, Cub. You can open your eyes if you want."  
>He shook his head and Wolf said, "Fair enough. Supper will be ready soon, and you're going to eat some, all right?"<br>He nodded. He wasn't hurting anymore, just tired. Exhausted more like it. Wolf went back into the kitchen. An old rerun of _East Enders_ was on the telly. He knew the episode by heart, but it didn't make him laugh as it once did.

He heard Snake say something, about counselors, and Wolf snort, "He just stares at her. I can barely get him to talk to me, what makes you think he could handle a counselor?"

He agreed with that. He hated his counselor, with her sympathetic smile and her candies. He didn't want to tell her anything. He didn't want her to know him.

He heard Wolf and Snake chatting in the kitchen, working with each other to make something that smelled delicious. Soon, he knew, someone would come to help him to the kitchen. They'd sit him down in the chair closest to the door, so he felt like he had an exit, and then they'd hand him a plate that he had to eat. After dinner he could go and lie on the couch and watch _East Enders_ until he fell asleep and Wolf or Eagle woke him to go to bed. They'd sit by the bed and make sure that he slept right, and then tomorrow, tomorrow they'd never even mention all the nightmares they'd had to talk him out of, all the trouble he'd been.

They were people he'd like to know him.

AN – Okay. Like/Dislike? I can do more of this, or I can go back to what I was doing. I'm pretty open. Reviews and Requests please. And thanks for reading. J


	6. Chapter 6

Alex woke up sometimes in the middle of the night.

It wasn't because of nightmares. There were plenty of those, but those woke him up screaming and thrashing and trying to get away. This was more a jerk awake, a start to awareness that makes the heart pound and the body tense.

He never woke Wolf. Part of it was that he felt guilty that the man's sleep was commonly as broken as his own, and part of it was that he almost enjoyed this time alone. 

K – unit were great, but they never really left him alone. Wolf was there all the time, unless he was training or on a mission. When that happened he called once a day and had one of his many siblings check up on him regularly.

Tom was there at school, and on the weekends too. Between all of them, he was never truly left alone.

So if he did wake, in the middle of the night, he would just lie still.

He didn't like the dark anymore. It had made him feel stupid when he'd told Wolf about it, but the man had just gone out and bought him the string of novelty lights that he flicked on every night. They provided enough glow to keep him calm when he woke, and the shapes were rather soothing.

He mostly just stared at the ceiling or read a book. One of those cheap thrill novels that Snake was always buying for him. They were easy to read, and not that hard to write, he suspected, but they were entertaining, and that's all he really cared about.

Other times he just thought. Lately it had been about how things had changed for him in the last few months, ever since Wolf had carried him out of that hell hole he'd been held captive in. There were no coincidences in Blunt's world, and he had sent K unit for the extraction, one less story to spin. They had been angry when they'd found him, furious in fact, but all he could recall of the experience was how gently he'd been treated. When he'd woken in hospital and found out that Jack had left and that K – unit were his new guardians he'd been overwhelmed, but they'd all given him the time he'd needed.

He remembered coming home here for the first time.

"_Easy. Take it easy." Wolf's voice was gentle as he led him into a flat. It was a nice place, quiet and drafty, like it was an old attic. He looked up at the ceiling, seeing the alcoves, and Wolf laughed, "It used to be the storeroom way back when. I got in for a song. Here's the front room and the kitchen. My room's just down the hall that way, and this one's yours."  
>His room was small and still, with enough room for his furniture and little else. His things were already there, most of it still in boxes, but his comforter was laid out on his bed and his pajamas folded at the foot. He was so tired, so when Wolf suggested a lie down before supper, he obliged.<em>

He'd been living here ever since. He wasn't quite sure when, but somehow jt had become his home.

He thought of other things too. His uncle, when he'd been living. Ian Rider hadn't been a bad man so much as a distant one. Alex had a hard time blaming him for it, as he recognized that same distance in himself. He hoped though, that with time he might overcome it.

He tried not to think of his uncle too often though, or he got to thinking of MI6 and Harod Sayle and Yassen and all the rest. It was best to avoid those areas of his mind, like walking a mine field. Some things required a softer tread than others.

He remembered Jack, when she'd first started working for them, after Alex had gotten hurt at school and there'd been no one to contact. He'd had to spend a night in the lovely company of child services.

Not quite as bad as hanging over a bunch of hungry crocs. But it came close.

He smiled grimly, then slammed that portion of his mind shut. _Don't go there Alex. You know where it leads._

Trying to explain the details of his childhood had lead him to a crying jag that had taken Wolf thirty minutes to talk him down from. To be fair, that had been in the first month, when he'd been rather a wreck, but it was still embarrassing.

His uncle and Jack hadn't given him good experience to go on when it came to realtionships, for three months he'd just been waiting for the other shoe to drop where Wolf was concerned. When the man had returned from his first mission as Alex's guardian, he'd been astounded at Alex's reaction. 

"_Cub? Cub?" Alex hadn't answered from his position against Wolf's chest, and the man had sighed, "All right Cub. How about we sit down and you tell me what's the matter, hmm?"  
>'Y-you came back."<br>"Cub, I live here."  
>"E-everyone else just left."<br>_

It was embarrassing in hind sight, but at the moment, all that had mattered to him was that Wolf had patted his back and told him, "I'm not going anywhere Cub." 

Cub. Now there was something to think about. He'd been given the nickname as a cruelty, but now it was more a pet name from K-unit, a way of marking him as there own. They called him Alex, but rarely, and he didn't mind it. He'd been Alex to too many people who used him. No one had ever used Cub.

And as long as the boys were around, no one ever would.  
>He didn't mind not sleeping sometimes. Lying still, looking at the light striking the objects in his room, listening to the sounds of London waking up below him, it would strike him that this was not a bad life to live, that he had taken the long way 'round, but that he was home now.<p>

AN – Comments? Concerns? Requests please! Thanks for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

Alex liked to cook.

That had been a revelation to Eagle, he'd wandered out into the kitchen one morning, two weeks into Cub's residency at Wolf's flat, and found a rather bruised and battered Cub hobbling around the kitchen, making omlettes.

Now it was a common occurrence for Cub to be cooking on Saturday. He'd make pancakes, or bake. On one notable occasion he'd tried to make crepes.

Wolf had been rather calm about that, Eagle reflected, as he'd scraped batter off his ceiling.

Today he wandered in to a Cub who was watching something boil intently on the stove. He paused at the doorway and knocked twice, their way of alerting Cub since he had one of his headphones on. It spoke volumes that he felt safe enough to even do that.

Cub told him, "Come in." and he walked in, taking stock of the boy in front of him. Cub was bent over the stove with a candy thermometer, stirring intently. He was only wearing a t-shirt and the scars on his arms were visible, they had a gray sort of look to them, they'd long since healed over, and Cub hardly seemed to even notice them.

He came to stand next to the boy, asking him, "What are you making?"  
>"Fudge."<br>"What?"  
>"Sugar, chocolate, marshmallow fluff, butter."<br>"Huh."  
>Cub smiled at him, then nodded at the bag of chocolate chips on the counter. "Dump those in for me, will you?"<br>Eagle obliged, then asked, "Where's Wolf?"  
>"Asleep still. He had a bad night."<p>

Cub was as used to Wolf's nightmares as Wolf was to Cub's and more often then not, if he spent a lot of time waking the older man he'd just turn of the alarm on his way out. Wolf didn't like it, but Cub didn't seem to care.  
>Cub started stirring more frantically, then told him, "Butter those pans over there, huh?"<br>He obliged, then how asked, "How's school?"  
>"Long and boring. How's work?"<p>

"The same." He finished both pans and then put them on the counter while Cub dumped the mix in. It didn't look that appetizing, but he decided he'd wait and see. The tamales Cub had made last week hadn't looked that good either, and he and Snake had ended up fighting over the last one.

"What are you making for dinner?"  
>"Why do you assume I'm cooking for you?"<p>

Eagle laughed. Cub was just teasing him he knew, and he played along, "Says the rest of the lads. They're coming up now."  
>"I know. That's why I made the extra fudge."<p>

AN – Know this is short, but that's all I can do for right now. No update tomorrow, sorry. L However, I'm planning something with firearms for Monday. As usual, review, requests. Thanks for reading.

P.S - Got the idea of Alex liking to cook (or at least cooking) from another FanFic, though I can't think of it right now. Just wanted to make sure that I gave credit where it was due.


	8. Chapter 8

Gun Powder

Wolf was the one who had really taught him how to shoot.  
>When the man had found out MI6 hadn't bothered, and Scorpia had just given him two classes on "that instinctive crap" he'd immediately booked a firing range. Him and K Unit had made a Saturday of it.<p>

_Alex had shied away from the gun and the targets instinctively, thinking things that were best left alone, but Wolf had shaken his head, "No Cub. You have to learn this."  
>Snake, hissed,"Wolf. Can't you see - "<br>"Yes. But I can also see that he needs to be able to defend himself."  
>The man turned back to Cub, telling him, "All right Cub, let's just start with how you stand. Square off." The boy looked at him puzzled and Eagle laughed a little, then told Cub, "Feet shoulder width apart, Cub."<br>Alex hastened to obey. The boy was eager to learn, they had all picked up on that, almost too eager. Wolf was liberal with his praise because of it, "Good. Now, pull your shoulders back a little, raise the gun, little higher. Good." Wolf came around and stood behind Alex, telling him, "Your left hand supports your right Cub, good. Now, pull the safety off, chamber a round, perfect. Pull the trigger slow."  
>Cub obeyed then jerked back when the shot rang out. It went wide, and Wolf sighed, then told Cub, "You can't be afraid of the gun Cub."<br>Cub looked at him annoyed, as if to say, "I know that." and Wolf told him, "Aim and shoot the whole clip. One right after another Cub."  
>Alex shrugged and obeyed, seeing the sense in Wolf's order. By the time he'd gone through two clips he was feeling more confident, and he squared off again, thought, and squeezed off another shot, feeling a savage sort of joy when it hit the target. All the men praised him for that, and then reminded him that he got to do this another thousand or so times. After that, every Saturday had been shooting day until Alex could pass a shooting test of their own making. He'd complained sometimes, about the loss of his weekend, but Wolf had told him, quite clearly, "This might very well save your life one day, Cub."<em>

And that, he reflected, all these years later, his combat clothes still feeling rough and heavy against his skin, his SAS pin digging into this neck where it had been given to him just a few weeks ago, had been exactly what K-Unit had done. They had saved his life.

He holstered his gun, yelled, "Let's go boys." Otter, Panther and Lion all regrouped quickly, and he looked for the youngest member of the group, saying, "Let's go Cub."  
>He needed looking after, that one, but Alex thought he was up to the job.<p>

The End

AN– Sorry! Know this is Tuesday not Monday. Ran out of time. Questions? Comments? Concerns? Let me know what you think!


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